Invader ZIM: Invader Wars
by TuttiFruttiCentral
Summary: Zim is being sent to Earth on a secret invader mission along with a highly skilled partner. Follow them on their adventure as they tackle all kinds of wacky obstacles and fend off the relentless Dib. There are no pairings what-so-ever! I don't expect this to get liked by everyone, but please be fair!
1. Chapter 1

Act 1:  
The Nightmare Begins

The universe is a vast and ancient place. Nebulae make the stars and oftentimes a planet is born. Planets are born, destroyed, and reborn every century. Most are nothing more than barren wastelands or dense gaseous clouds. The rest were able to carry life.  
Since the beginning of time, many life bearing planets have been born and have kept an era of peace since. Now, the evil Irken race wants to take complete control over the universe and enslave all of alien-kind. Their leaders, the Almighty Tallest, plan to send invaders out to each planet to take it down from the inside. They call it Operation Impending Doom II.  
The Almighty Tallest were now getting ready to assign their invaders to their designated planets. Meeting up at Coventia, the convention hall planet, all of the Irken race was attending. Ships were darting in from every direction to get a parking space. After parking, they would get beamed to the planet's surface via satellite.  
As the Irkens made their way to the Great Assigning, there was an announcer on a big screen and many other tiny screens placed throughout and near Conventia repeating the same thing over and over again, "Welcome Irken soldiers to Conventia! Please proceed to the docking ray and take the complementary teleporters to the surface of the planet. Don't forget to visit the gift shop and buy loads of cheap, useless junk! If you're here for the Great Assigning, please proceed to the Main Hall and remember where you parked your ship. Galactic conquest is near! Galactic conquest is near!"  
Soon, Irkens were filling the Main Hall. Finally, the announcer's voice echoed through the speakers, "Now, wiggle your antennae in salute for the all knowing, all powerful leaders of Irk... the Almighty Tallest," A dome began to rise into a large gap into the ceiling as the announcer finished.  
As all the other Irkens were applauding, there was one Irken that stood out: female, tall and thin, long antennae, maroon eyes and red uniform, and ranked an invader. She thought to herself, "{Oh how doomed we all are... Doomed to perish under our own so called 'greatness'. All my life, I was taught that the strong are only fit for survival and that conquest is the key to it; that unquestionable obedience to your rulers is one's first and only priority. What lies we were told, how used and abused we are to these cruel and mindless rulers of our's. There is no method in this madness... Authority must be obeyed or overthrown, and I choose to overthrow it for the sake of my people. They need to know what really lies in their future. That violence isn't the answer for everything and that with peace, we can accomplish so many greater things. These people need a new era of peace, and I will gladly help them to it.}"  
The dome kept rising as two laser light spheres floated out and projected their show. When the dome finally reached its destination, a small platform began to descend with the Almighty Tallest Red and Almighty Tallest Purple. The crowd was cheering and screaming.  
The female Irken invader drowned the muffled sound of the crowd to the back of her mind as she scowled at her leaders, "{Pathetic... yet they are gods among their people...}"  
The Tallest were waving to everyone.  
"Thank you! Thank you," Almighty Tallest Purple said.  
"See," Red elbowed Purple, "Told you they love lasers."  
"Lasers are everything with you. I'm telling you, smoke machines are what people -AAAAHHHH!," Purple accidentally got shot in the eye by a random laser.  
"See," the platform completed its descent and Red began his speech, "Welcome, Irken soldiers. You are the finest our planet has to offer. Good for you. However, behind us are the soldiers we have chosen for roles in the most crucial part of Operation Impending Doom II!"  
Behind them, a giant screen turned on and lit up a map of the universe as the audience cheered.  
"You in the audience have to watch," Red said mockingly.  
"You should have tried harder," Purple scolded.  
"These superiors-"  
"But not as superior as us."  
"Pfft. Duh! These less superior than us, but quite superior soldiers, will be assigned to an enemy planet."  
"There, you will blend in with the hideous natives."  
"All while gathering crucial information, assessing the planet's weaknesses, making it vulnerable to the Armada."  
"Now, let the assigning begin!"  
The crowd was quiet, save one enthusiastic "Whoo!"  
"But, before we do that," Red continued, "Please address your top three invaders! Come here you three."  
A tall, male Irken with purple eyes, the female Irken from earlier, and another female with green eyes and a beauty mark approached the Tallest, their enigmatic faces staring blankly at the crowd.  
"Please welcome Invader Dez, Invader Wiki, and Invader Mona," Purple announced, "Is there anything you would like to say before we begin?"  
"All I have to say is that it's a supreme honor to stand before you and help bring about a glory like no other for Irk," Dez, the male Irken, said as he bowed respectably.  
"Yeah, what he said," Mona added.  
"That's great you two," Red said uninterested.  
"What about you Invader Wiki," Purple asked, "Would you like to say something?"  
Everyone was quiet and all eyes were on the female invader. She may not have had the best skills, but she was the best with words. Finally, she stepped forward and spoke, "Fellow comrades, time brings about many changes. Operation Impending Doom II will no doubt do that. I, along with my fellow invaders, will bring about a great change for all of Irk. The universe will be at our feet not just because of us invaders, but a countless amount of others, including you out there. So let this not be just a tribute to us secondly superior soldiers, but to all who survived and fell in Impending Doom I; for everyone who will participate in Impending Doom II. Let this be for all of Irk, for we shall rise above and against all the odds!"  
The crowd roared at Wiki's speech as she returned next to Dez and Mona.  
"Nicely done as always," Dez praised as the crowd cheered.  
"Yeah, you are pretty awesome at speeches, Wiki," Mona said.  
"Thank you, but you guys badgered eloquent words into my head since we were smeets," Wiki smiled at them.  
Mona smiled at Wiki's modesty while Dez just stared at her blankly.  
"Hey! Get out of the way! Move it! Invader coming through!," shouted a random Irken.  
"Let the Assigning begin," Red shouted over the crowd.  
"WAIT!"  
"That voice!"  
"It can't be," Purple exclaimed.  
"Hey, isn't that-," Mona began.  
"ZIM," Wiki angrily cut her off.  
"Something wrong, Wiki," Dez asked.  
The Irken climbed onto the stage and bowed, "My apologies my Tallest for being late. I couldn't find my invitation. You're lucky I made it at all."  
"You weren't invited, Zim," Red explained, "We banished you to Foodcourtia."  
"Yeah. Aren't you supposed to be frying something," Purple asked.  
"Oh, I quit when I heard about this," Zim replied.  
"You quit your banishment?"  
"Yup," Zim looked over to Wiki, Dez, and Mona. He began walking to them, "Hey guys! Isn't it great that we're being assigned planets?"  
As he got too close, Wiki pulled out a knife a lifted it to Zim's throat, "If you come any closer, I will personally stage a live execution in front of everyone."  
"Wiki don't," Mona pleaded.  
"Ooh, please do," Purple asked ecstatically.  
"With pleasure," Wiki growled.  
"Hold on, Wiki," Dez said, "If you kill Zim, someone will have to clean up his corpse. Who wants to do that?"  
No one answered.  
"See?"  
"Very well then," Wiki replied putting her knife away.  
"You're smart to have not killed me, silly female, for the downfall of Impending Doom II would have been on your shoulders," Zim sneered.  
Wiki punched Zim in the face.  
"Ah! Was that really necessary?"  
"Zim," Red said as Zim was staggering to his feet, "As humorous as that was, you're not going to be a part of Impending Doom II."  
"But you can't have an invasion without me! I was in Impending Doom I, remember?"  
"Yes Zim," Purple replied as he reminisced that fateful day, "we remember."  
Sirens were wailing as a giant robot, under Zim's control, was laying waste to planet Irk.  
"Sir," a pilot protested, "We're still on our own planet!"  
"Silence," Zim yelled, "You shall obey Zim! Now twist those knobs. And you," he pointed to another pilot, "pull some levers!"  
All the while, the Tallest, Dez, and fresh recruits, Wiki and Mona were watching the massacre from the Tallests' luxurious apartment.  
"I put out the fires," Zim pointed out.  
"You made them worse," Red explained.  
"...Or better?"  
"Ugh...," Purple sighed, "Besides, no invader has ever been... so small, Zim. You're a tiny thing."  
"Oh but please! Invader's blood runs through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants! Do not ignore my veins!"  
The tallest looked at each other and back at Zim.  
"Okay Zim," Purple said, "We now recognize your deserving skill."  
"Because of that," Red added, "we are assigning you to a planet that no one has ever heard of-"  
"-And those who have heard of it, dare not speak its name."  
"What's it called," Zim asked.  
"I dare not speak its name."  
"Oh brother," Wiki and Dez rolled their eyes, knowing what the Tallests' idea was going to be.  
"Oh wow, Zim," Mona began, "I'm so jealous of you right now!"  
Dez and Wiki then quietly explained to Mona what was going on.  
"Where is it," Zim asked.  
"Um," Red turned around to the map and began looking, "You see, this planet is so secret, it's hard to find sometimes-"  
"There it is," Purple interrupted, pointing at a piece of paper taped to the map labeled 'Planet?'  
"A secret mission," Zim asked.  
"Yes."  
Wiki then all of a sudden felt this strong sensation emulating from where Zim was standing. It hit her as if someone landed a direct kick to her face, "{What the-? Zim? Is that you?}, she looked at him for a few moments and realized what that feeling was, "My Tallest, I would like to accompany Zim on this secret mission."  
"What," Zim and the Tallest shouted in unison.  
"Please allow me."  
The Tallest huddled together and murmured to each other, deciding what to do.  
"What are you doing," Dez whispered, "You're an invaluable asset to our entire mission; if you go with Zim, you'd be wasting our time."  
"We have nothing but time, Dez. The rebellion will still go on. We just need one more valid piece."  
The Tallest turned back to Wiki, "How badly do you want this," Red asked.  
"Extremely. If this planet is as dangerous as you describe, Zim will need all the help he can get to conquer."  
"Then you get to go with Zim," Purple announced.  
"What!? NO," Zim pleaded.  
"Sorry, Zim," Wiki spat, "It looks like you'll need me for this one."  
"Come on Zim," Mona said, "It's not that bad. Once you think about it, you have a mission and a first ever event in Irk's history. What more could you ask for?"  
"I guess your right," Zim went to join Wiki, Dez, and Mona, "but if this is what you want, Wiki, I'm in charge."  
"I promise not to get in your way of creative and efficient thinking, oh great invader," Wiki replied with a sarcastically annoyed tone, "{As long as I can easily get to you, nothing else matters...}"  
With that, the Great Assigning commenced. About fifteen minutes later, everyone was assigned a planet.  
"Invaders," Red announced, "Report to the Equipment Hall to receive your supplies. Oh, and remember, lasers!"  
"AH," Purple got shot in the eye again by another random laser.  
"The universe will be our's for the taking!"  
"I'll have them serve me curly fries."  
Meanwhile, on a planet in an unknown section of the Irken-known universe, there was a kid, with a giant head, sitting on his house listening to the assigning through a powerful transmitter, "They're coming," he whispered, "Someone has to know," he jumped onto the drainpipe and slid down into the kitchen window.  
Meanwhile, the boy's little sister opened the fridge and looked for a soda, "Dib drank the last one. He will pay!"  
Dib landed in the water filled sink and quickly surfaced, "They're coming!," he raced over to his father and tugged at the man's sleeve, "Dad! They're coming! I heard them! I actually heard them! I was on the roof when I heard this transmission come in and-"  
"Shshshsh, not now, son," Dib's father said, "I'm trying to make-," electricity surged from somewhere, "-TOAST!"  
Dib went to his sister, "Gaz! They're coming! They really are!"  
"Who's coming, Dib," Gaz asked tired of hearing her brother's paranormal rants.  
"I... don't know."


	2. Chapter 2

Act 2:  
The Invader Duo

Back on Irk, the Almighty Tallest and the invaders gathered in the Equipment Hall, waiting for the Tallest to give out the supplies.  
Tallest Purple then pulled out a little silver robot with red eyes, "This is your Standard Information Retrieval Unit, also known as a SIR."  
"This will assist you in taking down the enemy planet-," Red explained.  
As the Tallest rambled on, Dez leaned toward Wiki and whispered, "Why do you want a mission with Zim so badly?"  
"Zim seems to be of... much value these days," Wiki replied.  
"Huh," Mona quietly asked, "How? He's nothing more than a banished Irken. He sucks at invading and could be the downfall of our new civilization if he lives any longer."  
"She has a point," Dez pointed out, "We don't even know what he's capable of yet."  
"You will know soon," Wiki explained, "And it's really dangerous if not cared for properly."  
The other Invaders just stared at her, confused.  
"So you're going to train him," Dez asked casually, "I honestly think you're wasting your time, but good luck anyway."  
"Why? Are you jealous," Wiki asked teasingly.  
"Wha-? I'm not jealous, I'm just afraid for you."  
"Really?"  
"That's all, nothing more."  
"Why fear for me? I have everything under control, Dez."  
"I know, but..."  
"Do you not trust me?"  
"I do it's... just that... I don't trust Zim. What if he does something catastrophic happens and he leaves you to die? You know how he is."  
"I know, but he won't."  
"And you're sure why?"  
"Because we're the Tallests' most prized possessions. If I were to die in Zim's 'care', it would mean total humiliation with a live execution following closely after."  
"Oh, Wiki. What will we do with you?"  
Mona put a hand on Dez's shoulder, "Don't worry she'll be all right."  
"- and it's also a thermos," Red finished.  
"WHO WANTS THIS ONE!?," Purple asked waving the SIR around.  
An invader from the back replied, "I do!"  
With that, Purple threw the robot at the invader.  
"Thank you," he choked out.  
"Everyone line up for your robot," Purple ordered.  
"Except you, three," Red pointed at Wiki, Dez, and Mona, "We have Superior SIRs for you. They can do everything normal SIRs can do, but faster and better."  
"They can also shape shift into any mechanical object," Purple explained as he dropped the SIRs on the ground.  
They stood up and saluted them. It was the same as the others, save their unusual orange eyes.  
"Mo," the first SIR saluted.  
"Buzz," the second SIR saluted.  
"and Rima," the third SIR saluted.  
"Reporting for duty," they announced in unison.  
"Those names are cute and easy to remember," Mona said.  
"Finally, a robot slave of my own! Gimme," Zim impatiently held his arms out for a SIR.  
The Tallest sighed and thought of an idea to not waste a SIR on someone like Zim.  
"Honestly," Red began, "we have a top secret model for you, Zim."  
"Like Wiki, Dez, and Mona," Zim asked.  
"Somewhat," Red went rummaging through the trash can for SIR parts.  
Purple stood in front of him to block seeing eyes and pulled some junk out of his pockets. He went over to Red and stuffed the junk in the SIR's head, closing the top part. Imitating the sound of the SIR dispenser, Purple hid the robot behind his back and threw it before Zim. It laid there motionless.  
"It doesn't look good," Zim observed.  
"That's what the enemy will think," Purple explained.  
"I see, it even fooled me. I am honored to be trusted with such advanced technology."  
Wiki rolled her eyes and let out a sigh as the Tallest were giggling.  
Then, to everyone's amazement, the robot sprang to life with its glowing, red eyes. It walked up to Zim and saluted him, "GIR reporting for duty!"  
"GIR? What does the G stand for," Zim asked.  
The thing's eyes turned cyan, "I don't know," after a moment of silence Gir began to bang his fists against his head, "Whee-hoo! Whee-hee-hoo!"  
"Is it supposed to be stupid?"  
"Not stupid... ADVANCED," Purple corrected as he and Red began to snicker again.  
Later, the invaders were off to their assigned planets. All of the ships launched in the same direction save one as it shot off in another direction. Zim and Wiki were on that ship.  
"All right, our mission begins," Zim said, "Let us rain some doom down upon the filthy heads of our doomed enemies."  
"I'm gonna sing the 'Doom Song' now," Gir announced, "Doom, doom, doom-doom-doom, doom, doom, doom..."  
Six weeks later, Gir was still singing his song non-stop. Zim and Wiki were practically brain dead.  
"Six. Weeks. Straight. Zim, shut him up," Wiki pleaded.  
"Gir, please... stop singing," Zim commanded. He was about to strangle the robot when it wouldn't stop, but the ship's computer interrupted.  
"Proximity warning," it beeped, "Planet ahead."  
Zim looked out the ship's window, and there it was: a blue and green planet sitting below them, "We're finally here everyone!"  
GIR held up a finger and happily sang, "Doom, doom, doomy, DOOM! The end. What's that," he asked pointing at the planet.  
"Planet Earth," the computer replied.  
"Earth, huh," Zim repeated as he kept looking out the window.  
"Sounds quaint," Wiki said as she joined Zim, "It doesn't look so bad."  
"I shall be the judge of that! First, we should find a place to set up our base of operations so we can destroy these... Earthanoids."  
GIR began to giggle.  
"Focus GIR! This is where your advanced information-gathering skills come in."  
Wiki rolled her eyes, "{A waste of time...}," she looked over to her SIR and said, "Mo, I need you to observe the inhabitants and their way of life. Based on what they call 'normal', I need you to make disguises for us all."  
"Yes master," Mo saluted and looked out the window with eyes glowing duller than normal.  
The ship began to enter the planet's atmosphere, slightly burning the exterior. Soon, the ship was flying low over many neighborhoods, observing everything that caught their eye. Finally, it stopped at a nice looking cul-de-sac with a large space at the back.  
"We build here," Zim announced pointing at the empty space.  
"This is an excellent place Zim," Wiki said observing her surroundings, "At least you're good for something."  
"Good!? I'm brilliant!"  
"I advise we keep quiet if we want no one to hear us," Mo said, "Making noise will just give us away."  
"Right," Wiki said, "Now for our disguises," she pulled out three floppy disks and handed two Zim and Gir, "These are our disguises for the remainder of our trip. They coordinate with our paks, so they're easy to install and work with voice commands," she slid the disk into her pak, "Allow me to demonstrate. Disguise activate," soon Wiki began to disappear until she wasn't seen by normal eyes. Then, she reappeared and Wiki was an entirely different person. Short, raven-dark hair, playful, maroon eyes, and freckled skin; any trace of the Irken race was gone.  
"When did you get the time to make this," Zim asked.  
"I spent most of our trip making them with Mo's assistance. She is an excellent helper and-"  
"But why three," GIR asked, "WHY THREE!?"  
"Sh! Only three because Mo can disguise herself as any technology I please. Mo, please turn into a normal Earth gadget that is easy to store and conceal; it shall be your disguise for the rest of our mission."  
"Yes madame," Mo saluted and transformed into a modern cellphone and landed in Wiki's hands, "See GIR?"  
"Cool..."  
"Now Zim, put on your disguise, please?"  
"Zim doesn't need help from the likes of you," Zim threw the disks away, "I'll only provide for myself and my SIR, thank you very much!"  
The ship then propped itself upwards and produced a pod with a screen inside showing Zim on it to help choose a disguise. He went through a few choices until he found one that was only a black wig and lenses resembling that of human eyes.  
"Stand back," Zim closed the pod on himself. The inside began to glow as the pod jumbled around as it administered the disguise, "Oooh! Why does it hurt?!"  
"Another reason why I advised the disk," Wiki mumbled irritated.  
The pod then opened to reveal Zim's disguise. Wiki just stared at him blankly. Clearly the disguise was horrible.  
"Master!? Where did you go," GIR asked looking around frantically.  
"I'm right here, GIR," Zim replied pointing to himself, "And be quiet. Do you want to wake up the entire planet?"  
"I do..."  
"Zim," Wiki began, "Someone's bound to notice you're not of this world."  
"Silence," Zim screeched, "My disguise is purely ingenious!"  
"Don't you at least want to do something about your skin?"  
"Quiet! Okay, now for you, GIR, I'm thinking maybe a dog."  
"Can I be a mongoose dog," GIR asked as Zim shuffled through the dog options.  
Finally, a generic design was picked and Zim pushed GIR into the pod. The pod jumbled around until GIR flopped out in a poorly made, green dog suit.  
"Zim that doesn't look like a dog," Wiki commented.  
"One more thing like that from you and you're going to be classified as the enemy. Anyway, all we need now is a home," Zim pulled out a pad and a pen and began to draw what looked like a house, "A couple of windows... some little animal things in front. There," the screen turned into a miniature drill. Zim dropped in the center of the empty space and it disappeared into the ground, "TAKE COVER!"  
Everyone hid behind a nearby fire hydrant except GIR.  
The ground began to shake violently as wires began to worm their way through the dirt, setting off many car alarms. Those wires then began to form the first floor of the house. Solid walls then faded into view with windows and a door. The roof popped out and closed with the ship inside. Afterwards, a satellite dish extended from the roof. Large wires then sprouted from the walls and connected to the neighboring houses, draining their power. More rooms and compartments were being made underground. The house lit up as the fence popped up along with four gnomes, two blow-fish, and a flamingo. Not according to plan, the process set off many alarms and woke up a few babies. The entire neighborhood was aroused and looked outside to what caused the mess. All they saw were two weird kids and their weird dog. An awkward silence was hanging in the air.  
"Oh boy, what now," Wiki asked.  
"Don't make eye contact and we'll be fine," Zim replied. He grabbed GIR's leash and the three hurried inside. As Zim opened the door, two battered robot parents answered the door with a 'Welcome home, children.' Everyone got inside and Zim slammed the door, "Hoo! That went smoothly."  
"Smoothly," Wiki cracked, "That couldn't have been any worse! You're lucky we didn't get caught."


	3. Chapter 3

Act 3:  
Misery Junior High

The duo walked into the kitchen. It had everything an ordinary human kitchen had but with an Irken flair. Zim walked up to the trashcan and GIR opened it with the press of the pedal. Zim climbed in and descended into the underground lair. Wiki walked inside the fridge and Mo closed the door on her. Wiki followed Zim underground.  
"This planet won't know what hit them after we've learned their weaknesses- OW," Zim screamed while rubbing his eyes, "These lenses are so scratchy!"  
Wiki let out a small snicker and smiled. They eventually dropped into a computer room with a computer for each invader.  
"We should find the best possible way to learn about this sad, filthy, little planet," Zim exclaimed, "The more we know, the sooner we can conquer this spinning ball of... FILTHY... ick, erg, ick... DIRT!"  
"How about this," Wiki suggested as she pulled up a picture of a human school on his screen: Misery Junior High. The next day, Misery Junior High had two new students.  
"Class, I would like to introduce the newest, hopeless appendages to the student body," the teacher, Miss Bitters, announced coldly to the class, "Their names are Zim and Wiki. If you two have anything to say, speak now because after this moment, I don't want to hear another sound from either of you!"  
The two shuddered at that remark.  
"{Is it normal among humans to act like this?}," Wiki thought to herself.  
Zim shook off his fear and addressed the class, "Hello friends. We are perfectly normal human worm babies. You have nothing, absolutely nothing to fear from us. Just keep your distance and we'll get along just fine."  
Everyone ignored Zim's speech except Dib, who was pointing at the two.  
"Both of you, take your seats now," Mrs. Bitters demanded, "Today's lecture is about outer space and how it'll eventually implode in on itself."  
Zim raised his hand.  
"Yes, Zim."  
"I have a question. In the event of, say, a full-scale alien invasion, how prepared do you think this planet's defenses would be? Tell me!"  
"That question isn't conspicuous at all, Zim," Wiki whispered sarcastically.  
Miss Bitters looked at him oddly, "As I was saying, the universe is just doomed. Doomed, doomed, doomed..."  
Dib looked at Zim and Wiki, "Okay, am I the only one who sees the aliens in the class?"  
Wiki raised an eyebrow at Dib as everyone looked around the room, "{Does he suspect us both or just Zim?}"  
"There," Dib pointed at Zim.  
Trickles of sweat began to form on Zim's brow.  
"Told you it was a horrible disguise," Wiki whispered.  
"And there," Dib pointed at Wiki.  
Wiki's face began to darken.  
"Ha," Zim laughed.  
"Aliens in both places I just pointed out to you," Dib explained.  
"Do you have any proof," Wiki asked trying to keep her voice steady.  
"They're not kids! They're aliens! The monsters I've been telling you about! They've come to conquer Earth!"  
Zim's forehead was practically flooding with anxiety as he reached for the self destruct button hidden in his sleeve.  
Wiki noticed and stopped him, "Don't..."  
"Not this nonsense again," said the girl behind Zim, "You're crazy!"  
Zim put away the button and the two invaders began to relax a bit.  
"Well," Dib said, "Is it a coincidence that they both showed up on the same day."  
"Yeah," Wiki replied.  
"But... what about that one's horrible green head!?"  
"Insolent fool boy," Zim screeched, "It's a skin condition."  
"You have no ears! Is that a part of your skin condition, Zim?"  
"Yes," Zim said sadly as Wiki tenderly patted him on the back.  
Everyone in the class began glaring at Dib.  
"Man Dib," said a boy in the back of the class, "You think just 'cause someone's new and looks different, you can safely assume he's an alien. I guess Old Kid's an alien too, huh?"  
Zim and Wiki turned their heads to discover there was a kid that looked like an old man.  
"Hey what's up," he waved at the two.  
They just sat their and gawked at the boy.  
Dib then walked up to the chalkboard and pointed at a drawing of a person labeled 'human' with a pointer, "Okay, see this is us," he then pointed to an alien labeled 'Zim/Wiki', "Over here is Zim and Wiki. See the difference? Anyone? Anyone? Questions?"  
"Yeah, what's wrong with you," some kid asked, "All you ever talk about is aliens, ghosts, and seeing Bigfoot in your garage!"  
"He was using the belt sander..."  
"Yeah, he's always saying things," Zim said trying to fit in, "I remember that one time- Oof!"  
Wiki smacked him in the back of the head for his stupid remark.  
"You just got here," Dib snapped, "Don't let them trick you! I know what I'm talking about! And there they are, sitting right there!"  
"Well, Zim does look kinda weird," one kid admitted.  
Zim's face began to turn pale.  
"And Wiki looks kinda creepy," another one added.  
Wiki glared at the kid.  
"And they are sitting," said another kid.  
They just looked at the last one oddly.  
"Y'see," Dib asked, "Actual proof that the things I've been saying are actually true! Finally, a way to prove I'm... I'm-"  
"Crazy," Zim said over his shoulder.  
"Now that makes sense," a kid said.  
"I can't believe we almost fell for Dib's rant," another kid said.  
"...Doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed. Go home now," Miss Bitters ordered pointing to the doorway.  
Children were swarming through the school, flooding the main doorway and climbing out windows to patient buses and cars. Zim and Wiki were the last to leave. They looked around and began walking down the stairs.  
"Zim, Wiki," Dib called out menacingly, "You're cruddy little disguises may have worked on everyone else, but I'll get them to see the truth."  
"No one will believe you," Zim acknowledged.  
Wiki pushed him aside, "You're smart, I'll give you that, but we're too much for you to handle alone, and you don't want us as enemies. Now please, go do something humans consider useful."  
The two continued down the steps.  
Dib slid down the banister and landed in front of the Irkens, "They'll believe me if I bring you without your disguises," he pulled out a pair of shiny handcuffs, "I ordered these from one of my UFO-zines."  
"Nice bracelets," Zim complimented sarcastically, "What are they?"  
"Alien sleep cuffs! They render all alien lifeforms unconscious!"  
"How do you know they work if you never found an alien before?"  
Dib grinned, "I'm gonna find out right now. YAH," he jumped at them with cuffs in hand.  
Zim jumped out of the way and Wiki performed a round-house kick on Dib's stomach, making fly through the school doors.  
"What do we do, now," Zim asked confused.  
Wiki then saw Dib emerge from the front doors, "RUN," she grabbed Zim's arm and sprinted away, dragging her partner.  
The two were chased home by Dib. First, Zim and Wiki almost knocked over this girl that was about to get on the bus. Dib kept following, and knocked over the same girl.  
"Leave us alone," Zim yelled, "We just wanna go home and be normal!"  
Zim and Wiki then ran across a crosswalk, knocking down the crossing guard. Dib leaped over the crossing guard. Wiki then spotted an alley way and pulled Zim into it.  
There was a stack of boxes leaning against a chainlink fence making somewhat of a staircase, "Zim the fence, come on," she jumped on the conveniently made staircase to the top of the fence and grabbed the clothesline suspended above.  
Wiki quickly slid down with Zim close behind. Dib was eagerly waiting on the other side. To avoid him, Wiki swung herself above Dib and let go of the clothesline. She landed behind Dib and tripped him. Zim, still sliding down the clothesline, knocked Dib into a crate of fruit. Zim and Wiki ran into the street. A car honked at them and they climbed on top of it. The two kept climbing over passing cars until they got to an ice cream truck.  
Dib was at the bottom of ice cream truck laughing in a most sinister manner.  
"Won't this guy ever give up," Wiki asked panting.  
Zim spotted a school bus dropping off kids next to the ice cream truck. He tugged Wiki's arm and pointed to the bus. They both jumped onto the bus, hoping it would end Dib's relentless chase. Unfortunately, Dib climbed onto the bus and began to advance on the invaders. The kids on the bus watched the scene in astonishment.  
"They'll probably name your autopsy videos after me," Dib said as he got closer.  
The bus then jerked forward knocking the Irkens off. Wiki landed safely on the sidewalk and Zim landed on an iron fence. They looked up and watched the bus drive off with Dib.  
"Ha! See ya Dib," Zim shouted, "You pitiful human..."  
"He's bound to be back soon," Wiki said.  
"Why don't you relax a little; once we're home Dib will never- AH," a large dog pounced on Zim and began to beat the snot out of him.  
Wiki sighed, "You're such a pain to look after," she went behind the fence and tried to drag Zim out.  
Dib eventually jumped off the bus and onto a brick wall. He walked on it until he reached the iron fence Zim landed on. He waited for Zim and Wiki to pop out somewhere. Unknown to him, they crawled out the bushes covered with scars and bruises. When they saw Dib, Zim jumped up and pushed Dib into the bushes below. The dog then came back and began mauling Dib.  
As Zim watched the carnage, Wiki pulled out a communicator and called the house, "GIR! Mo! Come rescue us, quick! We barely have time!"  
"Yes master," GIR and Mo replied simultaneously.  
A few minutes later, GIR and Mo came flying to Zim and Wiki in a giant dust cloud with the special jets in their feet.  
"Get us out of here now," Zim ordered.  
"Okie dokie," GIR replied.  
The two SIRs picked up their masters and carried them through the sky at super sonic speed. Zim and Wiki screamed bloody murder as the SIRs shot haphazardly through the streets and crashed landed in their front yard.  
Meanwhile, Dib crawled out of the bushes and noticed the dust cloud the SIRs left behind. He quickly followed it to the Irkens' base.  
"Good work you two," Zim praised the SIRs as he helped Wiki off the ground.  
"There you are," Dib said as he walked through the smoke with murder in his eyes.  
"Everyone inside," Wiki yelled as everyone rushed in the house.  
Zim slammed and locked the door.  
Dib began beating on it like a maniac, "Your little tricks won't fool me," he ranted, "I know you're in there!"  
"Your little friend is at the window," GIR said cheerily while pointing at Dib.  
"Activate the gnomes," Zim ordered.  
"On it," Wiki replied pulling a big switch.  
"You can't hide forever," Dib continued, "and if you can, I'll wait forever! I've been preparing this for my whole life!"  
As Dib ranted on, the gnomes eyes formed tiny cannons and shot little projectiles at Dib's cuffs. They discentegrated into thin air.  
"Okay," Dib said, being put in an awkward situation, "I'll go home and... prepare some more! But I'll be back, and from here to the end of Earth," he then left in defeat.  
"I feel good about today," Zim said pulling a stick out of his wig.  
"How," Wiki asked, "Someone is suspicious of us, the enemy found our base. What good does that make?"  
"So..."  
"Dib is a terrible threat to our mission. I doubt this will be the last time we see the likes of him..."  
Deep in outer space, the main Irken battleship, the Massive, cruised through the stars. The Tallest were on the ship, being waited on with a variety of snacks, waiting for news of a successful invasion.  
"Incoming transmissions from... Earth," a pilot informed with a confused expression.  
"What is... Earth," Purple asked Red. The faces of Zim and Wiki appeared on the main screen.  
"Invader Zim, leader of the first duo invasion, reporting sirs," Zim said contently as GIR climbed the ceiling, "The mission goes well, as you can see."  
"In the grand scheme of things, it seems to be well," Wiki corrected, "But surely you would have expected that from my experience and Zim's inability to perish."  
The Tallest gawked at the two. Red dropped his soda and did not notice. He then spat out his straw, "You're alive!?"  
"Very alive," Zim replied, "And full of mission goo! Don't be surprised if I wipe out the human race before the Armada arrives."  
"We're supposed to be observing, not annihilating," Wiki corrected.  
"Anyway, my comrade and I have much to do. Invader Zim and Invader Wiki, signing off," GIR then fell off the ceiling and landed on Zim, "Ow! GIR, my spine!"  
Wiki and Mo just stared at the two blankly. Then, the transmission ended.  
The Tallest stared at the screen. They then looked at each other, very frightened indeed.


	4. Chapter 4

Act 4:  
Our Bestest Friend, Keef

It was lunchtime at school the next day. Zim was staring at his lunch: milk, mashed potatoes, and peas. He picked up a pea with his spork and sniffed it. He then began to choke on the very smell the pea protruded and dropped the pea back into the plate. He looked over at Wiki who was staring at him silently.  
"{That feeling a few months ago... It's positive that something is going to happen to Zim, but when? Things like that usually awaken in Irkens once they leave boot camp, but for it to awaken at this age for someone like Zim... There's no telling what could happen to him. What the Hell will I get myself into once he has awaken?}," Wiki hated when she had questions she could not find the answer to.  
"Why are you staring at me like that," Zim asked uncomfortable with Wiki's expression.  
"Hm? Oh, I was doing some deep thinking. Sorry if I scared you."  
"I don't get scared easily, if you haven't noticed."  
"No, I have not noticed because you're too oblivious to the truth around you."  
The two just stared at each other angrily as time went on.  
"Those new kids are freaks," said a blonde girl, "I think their names are Zip and Wizi, or something like that."  
Zim and Wiki turned their attention to the girl and her friends.  
"They hang out with each other all the time and they don't even like each other. You'd think they'd at least make friends with Dib-," she pointed to Dib.  
Dib raised an eyebrow to her comment. No way would he or the Irkens befriend each other.  
"-or one of the rejects in the corner," she pointed to a group of pathetic kids in the corner behind her, "Look at those two, together all the time. What kind of kids don't try to make new friends? It's so inhuman."  
The word 'inhuman' echoed in the back of Zim's mind as frightening images streamed through his head: he and Wiki were stuck in giant test tubes as news reporters asked scientists about their new discovery.  
"Congratulations on capturing the hideous space monsters," one reporter praised, "Tell us: How did you know they were aliens?"  
"Well we noticed they didn't have any friends," the scientist simply replied.  
Bright flashes of light went off and he snapped back into reality.  
Zim gasped and looked all over the cafeteria. A boy gave another boy a muffin. Two boys were sharing a lollipop. Wiki noticed Zim's anxiety and looked all over the cafeteria with him. Two girls were playing with a ball. Other girls weaved string together that spelled 'FRIENDS'.  
"It's awkward that we didn't notice this before," Wiki said, "Are you going to be all right Zim? Zim?"  
"We need to add new people to our social group," Zim replied flatly.  
"I believe we don't need that. If we add anyone to our group, it could jeopardize our mission."  
"If we don't, more people will be suspicious of us."  
"Sure you're not overreacting to one stupid remark from a human?"  
"I'm sure."  
"... Fine. Just pick someone that won't draw attention to us."  
Zim let out a snicker and walked over to the reject table. He walked up to this one kid and spoke to him, "I'm looking for a friend to add to my group. Will you kindly be-"  
"I was born with webbed fish toes," the boy said suddenly, "like some kind of horrible fish-boy. Wanna see?"  
Zim moved away from him, repulsed at the comment. He went onto the next person: another boy who looked frightened. Zim tried again to gain a friend, "Would you-"  
The boy screamed and ran through the cafeteria doors.  
"Squealy fools! These pig-filthies should be honored to even be considered as possible friends for the Irken race," he then noticed a few kids standing behind him: a girl and two boys, one with red hair, green eyes and a rainbow on his shirt, "Who among you believes you are worthy of being my new best friend?"  
They all nodded to Zim's proposal.  
"Very well then. I have devised a few simple tests to determine the worthiest. First, we shall test your absorbency."  
"{What?}," Wiki asked herself.  
Before she could make sense of everything, Zim poured a carton of milk on the table. He grabbed a boy and the girl and slammed their heads against the table. They did not absorb the milk, "What a failure."  
"They're children, you idiot! Not sponges," Wiki shouted from her lunch table.  
"Don't question my logic," he slammed the red haired boy's head on the table and the kid absorbed all the milk.  
Wiki gawked at the boy, "{Something's not right about that kid...}"  
"Next, we shall test your electrical conductivity," Zim announced as he pulled out two lightning rods and charged them up. He began shocking the children and screams of pure agony could be heard. Wiki cringed at the sight. The red haired boy was slightly scorched while the others were burnt to a crisp.  
"And now the final test," Zim pulled out a toy car and a squirrel and approached the children menacingly. Screams of terror went on for about ten minutes. Zim's test had left two of the children somewhat traumatized. The only one not effected by it was the red haired boy.  
"We have a winner," Zim announced as he raised the kid's arm, "What is your name, new friend?"  
"Keef," the boy replied, "Wow, I never won anything before. I promise to be the most loyal friend you've ever had," he hugged Zim with tears in his eyes, "I'm so happy."  
"Don't touch me," Zim said pushing him away with his finger, "Come let me introduce you to your other friend," the two walked over to Wiki and sat down, "Wiki, this is our new friend, Keef. Say hi to the boy."  
"Hello," Wiki said flatly.  
"Wow, this is great," Keef said hugging Wiki, "So many friends in one day. This will be so great."  
Wiki pushed him off, "Don't touch me."  
Zim then pulled Keef to the blonde girl and held him up to her awkwardly, "I'd like you all to meet Keef, my best friend.  
"Get lost losers," she sneered.  
"Very well. Notice I am 'getting lost' with my best friend, not your's, mine," he stared at the girl for a few seconds and walked off with Keef, "C'mon Wiki."  
Wiki got up from the lunch table and followed the two, "{Am I the only one who has a bad feeling about this?}"  
The rest of the day was too surreal for Wiki to handle. Zim was actually doing friend things with someone, and a human for that matter. In art class, Zim drew a poorly drawn picture of him, Keef, and Wiki labeled 'Friends'. Keef drew an animation of him and the Irkens skipping through a flower field. The day ended with Zim, Wiki, and Keef walking down the hall together. When Keef got too close, Zim pushed him into a trashcan and kept walking.  
The three then ended up walking home together. They came upon the Irken house with Keef blabbering away, "... and tomorrow, there's the circus. I love the circus. Do you wanna come to the circus with me, Zim?"  
"I want to congratulate you Keef, you were a most convincing best friend, but now the world is satisfied with our companionship," Zim said, "We won't be needing your services any longer. Our mission together is done. Goodbye soldier, be gone with you," Zim and Wiki went inside.  
"Good afternoon masters," Mo greeted as she and GIR were sitting on the couch watching the scary monkey show.  
"Hey guys," GIR chimed while waving his pig toy around.  
"I need a bubble bath," Wiki said as she plopped onto the couch with the SIRs.  
Suddenly, a card slipped through the door. It was purple and trimmed with pink lace. Zim picked it up and tore it open. He shrieked like a girl and threw it on the floor. Wiki looked at him oddly and picked up the paper. It was Zim's poorly drawn picture 'Friends.' The only difference from before was that the word 'Bestest' was written above the word 'Friends' in red ink.  
"What does that kid not understand," Zim asked aloud as Wiki crumpled the paper and threw it away, "We do not need him anymore."  
"Well, it's your fault. You just had to go paranoid over some stupid remark from a human."  
"AAAAH! I'm sick of this! I'll kill him if he tries to get into this house," Zim grabbed a lead pipe from nowhere and guarded the door.  
"It's not that simple, Zim," Wiki explained as she tried to take the pipe from Zim, "If we try to dispose of him, someone will be bound to search for him until evidence leads to us."  
"Let go Wiki."  
"Not until you promise you won't hurt the kid."  
"... Fine, I won't hurt him, but I will threaten to."  
"I'm all right with that."  
An awkward silence was in the air: Zim stared angrily at the door, waiting to pounce on the enemy, while Wiki sat on the couch thinking about a peaceful solution to the situation. The SIRs already left the room to do something reckless. As the silence ensued, the phone began to ring.  
"Will someone get that," Zim growled, still angry about the Keef situation.  
"I'm on it," Wiki replied glumly as she answered the phone, "Hello?"  
"Wiki," a familiar, cheerful voice answered, "Hey buddy. Is Zim there?"  
Wiki's eyes widened as she handed the phone to Zim, "Deal with this."  
Zim snatched the phone from her, "Hello?"  
"Zim buddy, hey," Keef replied, "How ya doin'?"  
"{Keef?} I told you, we do not-"  
"I know, I know. Do you wanna-," Keef was interrupted by another phone call.  
"Hold on," Zim turned to Wiki, "Answer that."  
"On it," Wiki replied warily. She picked up the phone and spoke, "Hello?"  
"Hello again Wiki," Keef sang, "You're gonna love the circus."  
She looked at Zim with distress, "It's Keef."  
"That's it," Zim yelled as he snatched the phone out of Wiki's hand, "I can't take this anymore," he pulled the lines out of the wall and locked the phones in the closet, "That will only be a temporary solution, but we can't avoid him in public."  
Wiki was about to sit on the couch again until something caught her out of the corner of her eye. She looked out the window and anxiety began flooding her face, "Oh my Tallest..."  
"What is it now," Zim asked annoyed.  
"Look out the window," Wiki replied pointing out the window.  
Zim came beside Wiki and his eyes widened. Keef was outside the base riding a bike and waving at the two invaders. He kept going around the block as if waiting for them to come out. Zim quickly closed the curtains and sat down on the couch, "What are we going to do?"  
Wiki, still thinking of an idea, came up with something to go on, "He needs new best friends to follow around, but I can't stand the fact of someone else having to deal with him."  
"Let's go down to the lab and think about this. SIRs!"  
GIR and Mo came crashing through the ceiling and saluted.  
"Wiki and I are going to the lab. Make sure no one comes into the house."  
"Yes sir."  
Zim grabbed Wiki's arm and pulled her to the lab. After they left, the doorbell rang.  
"Leprechauns," GIR randomly shouted as he went to answer the door.  
"We were told not to open the door to anyone," Mo reminded him.  
"So?"  
"So, we should listen to our masters by not opening the door."  
"...OK," GIR opened the door anyway.  
"Gah! You idiot," Mo quickly morphed into a cellphone and dropped on the floor.  
Down below, Zim and Wiki were spitting ideas back and forth between each other.  
"We could shoot him into outer space," Zim suggested.  
"Wouldn't someone be looking for him though," Wiki asked, "We have to think of something that will keep him away from us and not send people on a wild goose chase that will eventually end here. Plus, the human race will have a reason to get rid of us when they find us."  
"If those are the guidelines, then why didn't you think of something already?"  
"I've been thinking about it for the past hour and came up with nothing," Wiki's stomach then began to grumble. She blushed and curled up in a ball, "{That's so embarrassing...}"  
Zim sighed, "Let's go upstairs and eat. I'm getting hungry, too."  
The two invaders returned to the house's kitchen and were suddenly shocked: Keef was at the stove, cooking bacon while the SIRs were eating waffles at the table in their disguises. Zim and Wiki glared at the SIRs.  
"We told you not to let anyone in," Zim growled.  
"Hey guys," Keef greeted cheerfully as he kept cooking, "You're just in time for the waffles."  
"Get out," Wiki growled.  
"Huh?"  
"GET OUT OF OUR HOUSE," Zim yelled as he and Wiki shoved him out the front door, "I told you you're fired!"  
"You don't like waffles?"  
Wiki delivered the final kick and Keef was on his back with the pan of bacon, "We could walk to school together."  
"We're sick," Zim said, "we won't be going to school for a while," Zim slammed the door.  
GIR and Mo went outside in their disguises before Zim slammed the door shut. The two SIRs huddled around Keef and watched to make sure he was all right. GIR ate all the bacon out of the pan in one lick.  
"Aw, poor friends," Keef said as he got up and dusted himself off, "They must be really sad. I know! We should throw a surprise party to cheer them up. Do you understand, GIR? A surprise! Zim and Wiki cannot find out. I'll go to school and invite some guests. You can get the snacks and decorations ready, okay?"  
"Okie-dokie," GIR saluted as Keef ran off to school.  
During lunchtime at school, Keef passed out party invitations to everyone. Once he got to the popular kids' table, the girl from yesterday asked out of curiosity, "What are the invitations for, loser," everyone at the table laughed at the insult.  
"It's for a party at Zim and Wiki's house this afternoon," Keef explained, unscathed by that remark. He handed an invitation to the girl, "Are you interested?"  
"Zim? Wiki? Who're they?"  
"Oh, you know, the green kid and that crow-headed girl."  
"Oh, you mean those weirdos with that one creepy friend that makes them seem even weirder," she balled up her invitation and threw it at his head.  
Everyone that also received an invitation followed what she did. After being pelted with balls of paper, Keef looked over to the rejects table. He had hopes of getting some party-goers right then. He walked over to the table and began gathering the guests.  
Back at the base, GIR and Mo, having been gone all day, came back from where ever they went. They tried to carry in grocery packages as casual as possible. GIR, while trying to hide one package behind his back, walked to the kitchen with Mo close behind.  
Zim and Wiki caught eye of that and became curiously suspicious. The two further investigated and followed the robots. GIR and Mo placed the bags on the kitchen table. GIR accidentally knocked a bag over and party items spewed forth.  
"GIR, what is in the bag," Zim asked, curious about the bags.  
"Nothing," GIR replied in a guilty tone.  
Wiki sighed and asked her servant drone, "Mo what's in the bags?"  
"I-I'm sorry mistress," the SIR stuttered, "I cannot tell you."  
"Excuse me?"  
"It's supposed to be a secret."  
"Mo, I am your master. You are to tell me this instant, or I swear-"  
"Let me handle this," Zim interrupted, pushing Wiki aside, "Are you sure it is nothing we should worry about, GIR?"  
"Uh-huh," the robot replied with the same tone.  
"Nothing... or something?"  
GIR then made horrifying facial expressions; he looked as if he were going to explode, "Oh...I CAN'T TAKE IT!"  
"GIR! No," Mo whispered to him, "Remember what Keef told us."  
"Keef," Wiki asked.  
"I know, but he's too smart for me," GIR screeched as he began to cry, "Keef is planning a surprise party for you two after school, and he's bringing all of the kids because he loves you both! THAT BOY LOVES YOU SO MUCH," he then went back to his usual chipper mood, "I'm making cupcakes," he went through the cabinets and pulled out baking materials.  
"We are going to have a mess to clean up," Wiki said as she tried to absorb what GIR just explained.  
"You think," Zim asked sarcastically, "Wait... HE'S BRINGING ALL THE KIDS AT SCHOOL WITH HIM!?"  
"Yes, sir," Mo replied with shame.  
"Do you two not know what this means?"  
"Yes," GIR replied confidently while making cupcake batter, "Wait, no I don't."  
"Our mission is in jeopardy, you fool!"  
"Aw..."  
"Keef must be stopped. If we succeeds, the entire planet will be at our doorstep!"  
"I doubt that would happen, Zim, I highly doubt that things will get any more difficult than they are now," Wiki replied with stress.  
"Who cares, just come back down to the lab with me; school's almost over and we haven't much time left," Zim grabbed Wiki's arm and dragged her to the lab.  
"Hey watch it dummy," Wiki cracked.  
The invaders descended into the lab and got to work on their plan. They hoped it would rid of Keef forever.  
"Humans and their friendship," Zim began, "Who needs it? All it brings is trouble."  
Wiki slowly looked up at him, her eyes narrowing, "Ahem!"  
"Not you, the humans! I can see it now... Angry mobs of them... all holding pitchforks and torches...tearing down our base and stuffing us into giant test tubes... turning high class Irken technology into a tourist attraction - OW," Zim rubbed his face out of pain.  
Wiki had slapped him back to reality, "Keep it together man. I can't have you breaking down over something as simple as this. Now, let's finish this thing and leave this nightmare."  
Back at school, the final bell rang and the children filed out of school. Keef led all of the rejects to the Irken base while cheering 'PARTY!'  
The Irkens glanced at the clock: 3:02 p.m. They began to stress and work feverishly quicker pace. Finally, Zim finished up the final touches with the snip of a pink ribbon. The two began to laugh maniacally until Zim began to cough from choking on air. They picked up the green box with the ribbon and headed upstairs.  
Keef and the rejects kept closing in on the base. He said to the group, "Okay, you guys wait here. I'll go get Zim and Wiki. You then jump out and yell 'Surprise!' M'kay," he then headed inside the base.  
"I've never been to a party," said the girl from yesterday, "Do they hurt?"  
Keef then entered the dark house, "Hey, Zim! Wiki! I'm home," he then spotted the two, hiding in the shadows with sinsiter faces, "There you are. Do you wanna turn on the lights to see?"  
"We're fine, thank you," Wiki replied happily.  
"Oh, okay."  
"We got you something special," Zim replied holding out the green box.  
"F-for me," Keef asked with tears in his eyes, "You guys are the best," he grabbed the box and proceeded to open it. Once he did, two mechanical claws came forth and pulled out his eyeballs. The boy screamed in agony as the claws replaced his eyes with new, mechanical ones. Keef then stood there blankly.  
"Keef," Wiki called out softly.  
"Yes?"  
"Who are your best friends," Zim asked.  
"Zim and Wiki. Today they-"  
"Silence! When we snap our fingers, the next living things you see are going to be your best friends," Zim lightly pushed the boy to the window.  
"I like Zim."  
"We know," Wiki replied, "but pay attention."  
Zim and Wiki used their pak-legs to cling to the ceiling and out of Keef 's line of vision. Zim snapped his fingers and Keef began to rub his eyes, "W-what happened," he spotted two squirrels outside, but to him, they were Zim and Wiki, "Zim!? Wiki!? How did you two get outside? Wait up, I have a surprise for you!"  
The foolish boy ran outdoors to chase down his 'friends'. Keef pointed out the squirrels to the rejects, "These two are Zim and Wiki," the two squirrels then ran off, "It's them," he ran after the squirrels. He was long gone after that.  
"Forget this weirdo," said the girl from yesterday. She and the other rejects went home after that fiasco.  
Meanwhile, Zim and Wiki dropped from the ceiling and retracted their pak-legs. They let out a sigh of relief. It was finally over, "Humans and their friendship," Zim began, "Invaders need no one. NO ONE!"  
Wiki then smacked him as hard as she could in the back of the head, reminding him who she was.


	5. Chapter 5

Act 5:  
NanoIRKENS

It was late at night when a disguised GIR and Mo returned to their masters' base with Suck Monkeys. GIR's merry skipping overtook his fellow SIR to get to the door first. He skipped inside and hopped on the couch. He continued to drink his Suck Monkey to the point of sucking his face into it. Mo closed the door and just sat there drinkning her Suck Monkey, disturbed by GIR's strange ability to defy those types of physics.  
Zim and Wiki were downstairs tinkering with Zim's pak, unaware that the SIRs have returned. The computer then flashed and beeped, "Security breach! ALERT. Security breach!"  
"An intruder," Zim exclaimed. Through mental command, Zim's pak floated onto his back and etched itself back into his skeletal system. Once finished, the tiles in the floor Zim and Wiki were standing on rised to the living room. Upstairs, GIR was too busy with his Suck Monkey while Mo looked around concerned with the alarms. Two tiles opened in the floor reavealing the undisguised Irkens ascending into the room. They instantly spotted the front door left ajar.  
"Oh, it's your SIR," Wiki said as she closed the door again.  
"SIRs! What did I tell you about leaving the door open," Zim asked in his screechy tone.  
"For give us, sir," Mo bowed, "but I could've sworn I closed the door earlier."  
"I got chocolate bubblegum," GIR exclaimed as he opened his mouth to reveal the brown stickiness within. Everyone cringed at the sight.  
"{Ew. How does Zim put up with a servant like that?}," Wiki thought to herself.  
"GIR," Zim began as he did so with all of his lectures to GIR, "With an entire planet of enemies waiting for us to drop our guard, we have to be careful not to let our gurads get... droppy."  
"{Eh...? was he banished that early out of bootcamp?}"  
"Do you understand?"  
The SIR did not bother to answer. He was too busy watching a ninja crawl across the ceiling. It was Dib!  
"I'll take that as a yes. We're going back down to the lab below to check on the laser weasel experiment. I think they should be fixed by now," Zim and Wiki walked back to the open tiles.  
"Why are we doing that again," Wiki asked, thinking the experiment a waste of time.  
"Computer! Take us to the weasels!"  
Zim and Wiki stood on the tiles that came from the laboratory. Just as they stepped onto the platforms, a bright flash of light went off in the room. The two invaders turned around and the flash went off again. They spotted the ninja on the ceiling.  
"Hey," Zim yelled, "Dib?"  
"That was not me," Dib replied.  
"Yes it was. Computer! Intruder alert!"  
"Get out, you pervert," Wiki screeched.  
Robot claws potruded from the ceiling and gave chase to Dib. Somehow, he was able to evade at every turn. Mo then proceeded to give chase herself. She eventually caught him by the arm, but he managed to pry free from the android's grip. He jumped through an open window and dashed through the yard. The lawn gnomes tried to gang up on him, but he simply leapt over them all.  
"Now I have proof," Dib said holding up his camera in triumph, "Photographic evidence! Now your alien guts are soon going to be strewn over an autopsy table," the little psycho gloated as he ran all the way home.  
"You left the window open too," Zim asked, his anger seething.  
"Oh yeah," GIR simply replied as he finished his drink.  
"This is bad," Wiki growled, "If at least one person believes him, we're done for."  
"I know, I know," Zim reassured the elite soldier, "Give me a minute to think of a plan... I got it."  
The next day at school, Dib was sitting by his sister, Gaz, during lunchtime. She was immersed in her game while Dib was drunk with victory.  
"Zim and Wiki weren't in class today," Dib announced to his sister smuggly.  
"They're probably sick," Gaz explained and then mumbled, "you big paranormal doofus."  
"Yeah, they're probably sick with fear," Dib then pulled out a floppy disk and proudly waved it around, "Once these pictures get out to the public, those alien scum won't be able to hide any longer. I'll send these to Mysterious Mysteries tomorrow morning, then the world will know," he then ate a spoonful of peas, "Maybe the producers will let me host the show. My very own episode!"  
"I have thirteen levels left to finish this game," Gaz growled, "so I either win this game or make you wish I was never born."  
Dib just stared at her blankly, probably ignoring everything she just said.  
That night at the Membrane household, Dib sat at the kitchen table and addressed an envelope he was going to send to the Mysterious Mysteries producers. He placed the disk in the envelope and entered the living room with it. He then sat on the couch next to Gaz, who was still busy playing her game.  
"For years, the world has wondered," the host of Mysterious Mysteries began, "are there other lifeforms among us? We, here at Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mystery have always known the answer to this question, and that is a resounding 'maybe'. Which is why, as always, we ask you, our viewers, to help put an end to this question once and for all. Send us your proof of alien existence in a stamped envelope."  
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Dib's arms began to wave around, as if on their own, "Huh?"  
One of his hands touched Gaz's face, "Remember earlier, the whole 'bugging me' thing? Well, you're doing it right now!"  
"Gaz, this isn't me doing this. I have no control over my arms."  
"Yeah," she got up and went to the kitchen, "I'm letting you live this time only because I'm on the last level."  
Dib's arm then grabbed the envelope, and the disk fell onto his lap. He picked up the disk. Then, the TV turned from Mysterious Mysteries to Zim in some kind of cockpit, "Hello Dib."  
"Zim!? What are doing in my TV!?"  
"I'm not in your TV. I'm transmitting from... INSIDE YOUR BODY! Spooky, yes."  
Dib just sat there, shocked, "{But, when? How?}"  
"At this very moment, I'm in a microscopic submersible somewhere in your hideous belly, attached to your arm control nerve!"  
"Arm control nerve?"  
"Yes, your arm control nerve!"  
"In my belly," Dib flatly inquired the Irken.  
"I know, I don't understand that either," Wiki said, but she was not to be seen, "You humans have a confusing anatomy- oh wait, Zim, you're not in his belly. You're in his chest cavity."  
"Wiki!? What? Where are you?"  
"I'm at the base, navigating Zim through your fascinating innards. I've always wondered what aliens' innards looked like, and here they are."  
"Wiki, focus," Zim ordered.  
"Wait," Dib interrupted, "How do you know what our insides look like, and how did you get a map of them?"  
"Since you asked," Wiki began, "My SIR, Mo, transforms into any technology I please. Therefore, she shares the same attributes as the technology chosen, but sadly, she can't transmit signals to control your various body parts, like your arm control nerve."  
"But humans, don't have arm control nerves."  
"Do not resist us," Zim yelled as he recklessly moved a handful of controls around, "We control your arms!"  
Dib's arms then began to flap around in a wild manner until he got slapped in the face, "I don't understand. When did you get inside of me?"  
"A funny story, now that you mention it," Zim said as he reminisced that glorious moment, "It begins this afternoon in the cafeteria."  
"They're probably sick," Gaz explained and then mumbled, "you big paranormal doofus."  
"Yeah, they're probably sick with fear," Dib then pulled out a floppy disk and proudly waved it around, "Once these pictures get out to the public, those alien scum won't be able to hide any longer. I'll send these to Mysterious Mysteries tomorrow morning, then the world will know," he then ate a spoonful of peas.  
Zim, unaware to Dib, was sitting at the bottom of the pile of peas, bracing himself to enter his enemy's being. Dib lifted several peas onto his spork and stuffed them into his mouth. He chewed and swallowed, allowing the Irkens control and access to everything.  
Aware of it now, cold, harsh terror had its grip on Dib.  
"Now for what we came for," Zim said with a sinister laugh. He pressed a button and Dib crushed the disk.  
"No," Dib cried, "You didn't really think I would send the real disk, did you?"  
"Oh man," Wiki sighed, "Don't tell me that was a copy."  
"Yes, and only I know where the original is."  
"Idiotic human," Zim sneered, "We'll just go to your brain and delete the knowledge of where the original is, and as a bonus, we might as well make your brain... no smart... no more."  
"You suck at this don't you," Wiki asked unimpressed.  
Dib screamed in horror.  
"It's nothing personal, Dib. People have important plans that need to be put into motion as soon as possible."  
Zim let go of Dib's arm nerve and began heading for his brain. Dib regained control of his arms and headed downstairs to his father's laboratory. Lucky for him, his dad was down there, working on something utterly important for some reason, "Dad! I need your help."  
"Son, the world needs my help," the professor replied.  
"Do you still have that microscopic nanoship you were working on?"  
"Why yes, it's right here," he pointed over to a counter, "Why do you need it?"  
"Aliens are swimming around in my guts and are trying to destroy my brain," Dib replied as he headed back upstairs with the ship and controls.  
With a chuckle and sigh, the professor said to himself, "Kids these days..."  
Back in the living room, Zim was still on the TV. Dib set up the controls and swallowed the nanoship, "I'm coming you guys," he shouted as he piloted through his esophagus. He soon observed an astonishing sight: Irken flags were planted throughout his veins, "Oh no you don't,'' he accelerated the ship until he caught up to Zim.  
Zim was maniacally cackling, "With Dib turned into a drooling moron, nothing will stand in our way! Not even... drool!"  
"Will you shut up and concentrate," Wiki's static voice yelled over the transmitter, "Take the next left and go straight until I tell you otherwise."  
"Yeah, yeah," Zim turned like she ordered him to.  
Then the computer beeped, "Incoming transmission."  
Dib's face appeared on a screen, "I'm right behind you!"  
Zim looked at another screen and spotted Dib's ship. Zim tried shaking him off through his intricate nerve system, but Dib managed to stay close behind. Suddenly, Gaz passed through the room and headed to the kitchen for a soda.  
She noticed what Dib was up to and she curiously asked, "Hey, what game is that?"  
"This is no game," Dib explained intensely, "This is my life!"  
"It looks cool, but it's still just a game."  
"You can't beat us Dib," Zim gloated over the transmission, "My piloting skills are unmatched!"  
"Will you concentrate," Wiki screeched, "Take a right."  
"Is that Zim and Wiki," Gaz asked, more intrigued than before, "Is this an online game?"  
"Gaz, please, I need to concentrate," Dib pleaded. he scrolled throught the ship's weapons, "Let's see... How about this," he selected the grappling hook and shot it at the Irken ship.  
"Hm," Zim looked at the flasing red lights going off in the sub.  
"Incoming projectile Zim," Wiki warned him through the static.  
Zim pulled the sub out of way, barely in time for the hook to bounce off the exterior, "I've been flying ships since before you were born, sad little earth monkey," he dragged the ship against one of Dib's organs.  
Dib screamed in pain, "Ah, my spleen!"  
"Now we're in your trachea, Dib. You're brain is so close, I can smell it."  
"Is it really that smelly," Wiki asked with doubt.  
"Can I play," Gaz asked.  
"Wait a minute," Dib snapped, "They're in my trachea," Zim's sub finally made it to Dib's mouth. Seeing what was going on, Dib instinctively took a deep breath, knocking Zim back into his trachea. Zim tried to hold onto Dib's esopahgus, but to no avail. Dib held onto his esophagus however. Zim crashed into him and they both fell into Dib's ribcage.  
"Enough of this," Zim screeched as he recovered from the fall, "Prepare yourself for some DOOM," soon, his sub transformed into a humanoid, robot fighter.  
"Quarter, circle, back," Gaz mumbled.  
"What," Dib asked.  
"Quarter, circle, back: it's the transformation move for every videogame, Dib."  
He listened to her advice and entered the sequence. Then, the control screen read 'Transformation Initiated'. The ship transformed into a fighting machine like Zim's.  
"Hey look at that," Dib squealed with delight, "I did it!"  
"If you die, can I play?"  
Die? He had not even begun to think of what to do if put in that situation. Back in his stomach, Zim made the first move. He charged at Dib while he was flailing around fighting moves. The Irkens cheered as Dib's ship crashed into the wall.  
"Come on Dib," Gaz begged impatiently, "Let me play! You're doing it wrong! I can beat them!"  
"No way," Dib replied with pride shielding his ability to think, "They're in my organs! Not yours," he began to mash random buttons continuously, but Zim kept pummeling him, "I don't know the controls yet! Oh no," his shields began to drop. He got up again only to get kicked into the wall.  
Gaz rolled her eyes, irritated, "{Moron...}"  
"This is kind of sad, Dib," Zim gloated, "I'll put an end to this immediately," he pressed a button and his ship fired an energy blast at Dib's arm control nerve.  
Dib's arms negated and were totally useless, "Arms... like... noodles," Dib cried as his arms flopped around uselessly.  
"It's my turn now," Gaz said tenaciously as she pushed her brother across the couch. She mounted the game and reactivated the ship. She instantly pursued the Irken sub.  
Zim was already in his head. He circled the brain, "Where are you keeping the location of the disk Dib," he eventually found the memory and began wiping it out.  
"They're in my head," Dib yelled, "Knowledge... losing... brain... poop."  
Zim cackled maniacally as the computer told him that the memory had been fully erased. Zim began to charge for a final attack.  
"I can't remember where the file is, Gaz! They did it! They made me forget!"  
"Quiet, Dib," Gaz snapped as she pounded the controls.  
Zim had finally finished charging his move, "And now to release stupidity onto your brain! From this day forth, you will not be a threat to us any-," he looked up at the screen and saw Dib's ship, "The human doesn't know when to quit," Zim cut off the attack and prepared for a final battle.  
Dib's ship swooped down and hit the sub from above, knocking Zim into Dib's brain. The ship received a major shock from the pulse. Zim managed to bring the sub back up, only to receive more thrashings from Gaz. Her extreme focus showed no emotion as she expertly handled the combos. Meanwhile, Dib was flipping and twisting all over the couch with each time the Irkens hit his brain. He hit his head against the arm rest and began biting pillows to pieces.  
"He's not even trying," Gaz sneered as she beat around her opponents.  
Dib was eventually drooling and helplessly brain-dead. Gaz administered a final combo, breaking Zim's cockpit from the rest of the machine. He wailed as he was sent back down to Dib's stomach. Dib snapped back to conciousness and was amazed when the screen read 'Enemy Destroyed'. Gaz zapped Dib's arm control nerve. His arms spun around quickly and he finally regained control.  
Gaz typed her name under the high scores and left the room, "That game was stupid."  
Dib was ecstatic to have his arms returned. He looked at the TV, where a battered Zim had sat in defeat, "Now, for my finishing move," he laughed sinisterly as he headed for the bathroom.  
Zim's eyes began to widen, "Wait! Dib! What's going on!?"  
The only reply was a flushing noise and Zim screaming as he was swirling down the toilet.  
Meanwhile, back at the Irken base, Wiki was eating a pizza she ordered with the SIRs. She was holding the original disk that held the revealing pictures, "Too easy. If only you took time to listen, you big idiot."


	6. Chapter 6

Act 6:  
Parent/Teacher Night

It was another slow and boring day featuring Mrs. Bitters horribly long lectures about important things that never went into depth. Today, she was teaching the students about the Big Bang. She repeated the same theory and pointed to various objects, continuing with a female student "And you, Mary, right where your head is, before the Big Bang, there was NOTHING THERE!"  
The girl looked at her with an astonished expression.  
"And outside, where that squirrel is, there was NOTHING! And under your chairs, NOTHING! And by that tree where that dog is, NOTHING!"  
Zim and Wiki were not paying attention. Instead, they were staring at the clock with piercing eyes, trying to make time go by faster. Unfortunately, a bug was caught in the clockwork, explaining why the hands were stuck on 2:59:59 p.m. The invaders kept mentally pushing on the wavering second hand until the bug was brutally crushed. The final bell finally rang.  
The invaders sighed and walked to the door.  
Mrs. Bitters said as the students were on their way, "And don't forget that tonight is parent/teacher night. Everyone is required to bring their parents to the cafeteria."  
As they heard this, Zim and Wiki stopped dead in their tracks.  
"We never agreed to attend this parent/teacher night," Zim protested.  
"Yes you did."  
"No. You lie! YOU LIE," Zim screeched as he clawed the air.  
Mrs. Bitters snarled at him and pulled a CD from her drawer. She slipped it into the computer and clicked her mouse. The lights darkened and the chalkboard pulled into the wall and a video screen slid downwards. The screen lit up to reveal a bored Zim.  
"Zim," Mrs. Bitters asked on the video, "Are you and Wiki going to bring your parents to parent/teacher night."  
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Zim replied not paying attention.  
"And do you agree to this, Wiki?"  
The camera swerved to a bored Wiki.  
"Of course," Wiki replied staring out the window.  
The lights came back on and the chalkboard returned to normal. Zim and Wiki found the camera on the ceiling.  
"Why would you tape that," Zim asked conspicuously.  
"Putting up a lot of fight over something like parent/teacher night," Dib asked smuggly, "I doubt you know what real parents are."  
"Of course we do," Zim replied as he and Wiki reminisced the day they were activated many years ago.  
Deep within the Irken birthing caverns, four tubes in the wall changed from red frowns to green smiles, indicating the smeets inside were ready to be activated. Four robot arms unlocked the tubes and pulled them out of the wall. They cracked each one open allowing the smeets inside to fall out: two males and two females. The robot arms administered the paks that gave them a small electrical jolt, giving them life. They all stood up attentively, ready to receive orders. The first male was tall with purple eyes and the other was normal. The first female had green eyes and a beauty mark, and the other female was tall like the male, but her eyes were maroon.  
"Welcome to life Irken children," one of the robot arms greeted, "From now on, you are going to be soldiers in the Irken Invasion. Report for duty."  
All four of the Irken smeets leaped upon the arm and passionately hugged it. They replied in unison, "We love you cold, unfeeling robot arm!"  
The two invaders clung onto the nearest thing to them, happily remembering the memory. They then heard the sound of Mrs. Bitters hissing at them; they were hugging her. She then slithered out of their grips and back to her desk, "You AND your sister WILL be here tonight, Zim."  
"Whoa, whoa wait," Dib interjected, "Where did the whole 'siblings' thing come from? They don't even look alike!"  
Zim and Wiki stared at each other, shocked. They must have been so close to each other that Mrs. Bitters assumed they were related. No Irken has ever been blood-related since ancient times.  
"Of course we're siblings," Wiki blurted in a panicky tone, "See, we give... sibling... uh... hugs," she held her arms out in embrace with an awkward smile, "Give me a hug brother!"  
"What are you doing," Zim asked.  
"GIVE ME A HUG," she stared at him with piercing eyes.  
He finally caught on and hugged her back. Angrily, he whispered to her, "I hate you."  
"I love you too, brother," she let go of him and dusted herself off as if Zim was a disease.  
Dib had no idea what to make of it, "Well, see you guys AND your parents at parent/teacher night."  
"Oh yes," Zim replied, "We will bring our parents and they shall be the greatest, most parental parents EVER!"  
Back at the base, a saleswoman with a bag labeled 'Take Make-Up' entered the permises. She came up the front walk, unaware that the gnome guards were watching her. She rang the doorbell, activating a series of mechanical sequences that released the robo-dad.  
With the wheels on his feet, he rolled over to the door and answered, "Welcome home kids."  
"Oh, um, is the lady of the house in," the saleswoman asked startled by robo-dad's deranged appearance.  
"That is me," the robo-mom answered as she came to the door, as if on cue, "I am house lady, BRUSH YOUR TEETH!"  
The SIRs were walking through the living room when they caught a glimpse of what was going on. Mo watched the woman for anything suspiscious. GIR, however, was mesmerized by the woman's bag.  
The saleswoman continued, "I'm selling make-up and I just know you'll find something great for-"  
"I SAID BRUSH YOUR TEETH," robo-mom attacked the poor woman with a toothbrush.  
Meanwhile, Zim and Wiki were walking home. Zim was still thinking about how to deal with parent/teacher night, and was preparing for anything Dib had up his sleeve. He thought about Dib's taunts, "{I'll see you AND your parents tonight, Zim. By the way, it's not called parent/teacher night, it's called Zim doom parent... Zim doom... Zimmy... doom... night. HA! Oh, and watch out for that dog...} What," Zim asked himself right before he tripped and fell on a dog.  
"Zim, I told you watch out for that dog," Wiki exclaimed.  
"I know, shut up," he glowered until the robot fiasco at his frontdoor caught his attention.  
The two invaders saw the robo-mom scrubbing the frightened saleswoman's teeth. They cringed at the horrifying sight. The saleswoman slapped the robo-mom in the face with her bag and ran away screaming.  
"Wait, come back," GIR pleaded as he chased the woman down, "I need stuff!"  
Zim sighed as he walked into the house with Wiki right behind him. She and Mo could sense his dark mood. Wiki motioned for the robot to chase GIR down and bring him back to the base. The robot saluted her master and left the base.  
Robo-dad said to the invaders with a cheery attitude, "Welcome home children," he shot backwards and crashed into the wall.  
Robo-mom then came up to them with a sack of flour and asked, "You want some dinner, sweethearts," she poured the flour on them both.  
Zim brushed the flour off of his uniform and sat on the couch, "What are we going to do? We only have a few hours until this parent/teacher thing. The robo-parents aren't ready to perform that kind of service. They're social skills are... limited."  
Wiki brushed the flour from her uniform as well and looked at Zim with a hopeful smile.  
He scowled at her, annoyed with how content she seemed to be with the situation, "Why are you so happy?"  
"I'm allowed," Wiki simply replied, "Besides, the situation we've been catapulted into isn't that bad," she looked at the robo-parents and they were tapping each other repeatedly with utensils, "I'm sure you can come up with something."  
"Me!? Now you're putting the workload on my shoulders!?"  
"Not really. Thinking doesn't take that much energy. As I vaguely explained about a month before we came here, I'm only to help you. I'm not, in any way, going to restrain you from using your full potential. I'm only here to help you perform tasks, since you are the leader. If you are a true invader, this should be elementary for you, Zim."  
Soon, Mo had brought back GIR wearing make-up.  
Zim sighed, "Okay, you want to see my full potential? SIRs, grab the robo-parents and bring them down to the lab!"  
"Yes sir, right away," they saluted and followed their masters down to the lab.  
"We must program the parents to learn human social behavior if they are to join us for parent/teacher night," Zim explained to Wiki, having discarded their disguises on the way down to the lab. The SIRs had strapped the robo-parents into two seats. Wired sticks were holding their eyes open as they stared at multiple screens displaying many commercials and infomercials.  
"So, this should work," Wiki asked, staring at the TVs.  
"Of course," Zim replied, "What makes you think otherwise?"  
"It's not the parents I'm worried about-"  
GIR ran up to the screens, "Ooh! This is my favorite show," he then went to another screen, "Wait! This is my favorite show! Look! My favorite show," the deranged robot was pointing at an exaggerated advertisement for aspirin. He then ran up to a screen showing the Scary Monkey show, "I love this show!"  
"No, GIR," Zim exclaimed as he popped a parenting guide DVD in the DVD player, "The robo-parents must learn proper parenting from this video program."  
GIR watched blankly watched him, and snuggled up with Mo on the floor. The various shows on the screens were replaced with two silhouettes, one male and one female.  
"Make sure that they watch the entire video," Zim commanded as he and Wiki left the lab, "The fate of our mission depends on it!"  
"Make sure GIR doesn't screw anything up," Wiki added before the elevator closed.  
Mo saluted her masters and returned to the screens. She spotted something from her peripheral vision. GIR had gotten his hands onto the remote, "GIR put that down," Mo began to chastise GIR and lecture him on how SIRs should listen to their masters, "GIR? No GIR! Put that down-"  
"What does this do," GIR asked as he pressed the button on the remote.  
The device sapped all of the energy from Mo. She lay there motionless until someone could find her powerless body. GIR looked at her for a few moments, then looked at the screens.  
"We sure are proud of our little boy," said the mother on the screen as she patted her son on the back.  
"We sure are," the father added as he followed her lead.  
With the remote, GIR pressed one of the buttons and replaced the screens with the showings from before. The robo-parents absorbed all two hours of footage ranging from commercials to films.  
When it was time to leave for parent/teacher night, the invaders put on their disguises again. They went downstairs to collect their 'parents'.  
"Are you ready dears," the robo-mom asked with a cheery tone.  
"Yes," Zim replied in amazement.  
"They work," Wiki sighed with relief.  
"We sure are proud of you kids," the robo-mom continued.  
"We sure are," the robo-dad added sinisterly while leaning in too close.  
"Um... Zim," Wiki lightly pushed the robo-dad away, "Is this proper parental behavior?"  
"Of course," Zim replied unsure, "I think so."  
"Good enough..."  
At the school cafeteria, parent/teacher night was in full progress. Children, parents, and teachers were scattered all over. Dib and Gaz were accompanied by a screen projecting live video footage of their father, Professor Membrane.  
"Hey kids! Your dad. I never knew he was a floating head," one of the teachers said in a joking manner.  
"Oh, he's not," Dib replied, "He's just really busy and he couldn't make it. He's transmitting from across town."  
"Hey, my dad was like that too, I understand," he turned to the professor, "It's nice to meet you, professor. I'm Mr. Elliot. Your daughter, Gaz's teacher?"  
Gaz groaned in annoyance.  
"My apologies, I'm very busy right now," the professor replied, "We're testing highly unstable chemicals and-," a crash, a flash of light, and an alarm interrupted the professor, "No! You have the mixture all wrong," across town, an enormous explosion took place where Membrane was experimenting. The professor's video screen was replaced with the words 'Please Stand By.'  
At that moment, Zim and Wiki entered the cafeteria with the robo-parents. Everyone was staring at them.  
"These are our parents," Zim announced, "We love them with all of our hearts."  
"Yep," Wiki added with an innocent smile, "They sure are awesome parents!"  
Robo-mom was swiveling around lifelessly while robo-dad let off some sparks.  
Everyone returned to whatever they were doing.  
"Let's get some punch," Zim suggested.  
"Agreed, brother," Wiki replied.  
"Brother? You don't need to keep the facade up when no one is paying attention."  
"I know, but it's fun to act out of character once in a while."  
Zim just stared at her blankly as they walked to the punch bowl. Dib menacingly followed them with Gaz and his father close behind, "Hey guys."  
"Dib," Zim said darkly as they scowled at each other.  
"Hi Dib," Wiki greeted the human warmly.  
"Uh, hi," Dib replied confused. He shook his head, "Dad, these are the people I wanted you to meet. This is Zim and Wiki. The aliens?"  
"Hello Professor Membrane," Wiki waved with that smile from before.  
"What a charming girl," the professor said, "And what country are the little, green boy and his sister from?"  
"Very far," Zim replied with a chuckle, "Very far indeed."  
The two invaders hurried away. Zim ran back and splashed Dib's punch in his face. The deranged alien and Gaz both snickered. The invaders then found the robo-parents talking to another pair of parents.  
"What's going on," Zim asked one of the children.  
"My mom won't shut up about me," the younger child replied, "It's really embarrassing."  
"At least she's not showing the pictures," the older child added.  
"Oh and you just got to see these pictures," the child's mom then said, "Here's Billy crying when he was kicked off the soccer team for crying too much."  
At this, Billy began to cry.  
"Grass stains sure are tough to get out of uniforms," the robo-mom said.  
"Sports aren't everything," the robo-dad said, "I'm sure your boy will find something that he's good at."  
Zim and Wiki were pleased with how the robo-parents turned out.  
"That's true," Billy's dad said, "Hey! Try one of these cookies. My wife made them," he offered a plate of cookies to the robo-dad.  
"Thanks Ted," the robo-dad took one and ate it. Once he did, mechanical noises came from his stomach, as if it was actually groaning. He held his stomach. Billy's parents looked at him strangely.  
"Oh no," the robo-mom said, worried with the robo-dad, "Honey, is it?"  
"Yup," he replied, "Diarrhea."  
Everyone in the cafeteria was staring at them. The invaders began to panic. Whatever was going to be next, could only be horrible.  
"I have just the thing for that," the robo-mom said as she splashed punch in the robo-dad's face, sending him into the wall across the room. She turned to Billy's mom and asked, "Who DOES your hair," she then began to poke the poor woman, attracting even more attention.  
Reacting quickly on instincts, Zim tugged at robo-mom's arm, "Mom, we should go home."  
Robo-mom turned to him, "Don't tell me what to do, young man," she said angrily as she picked Zim up, "You go to your room," she dropped him into the punch bowl and returned to poke Billy's mom.  
Zim climbed out of the punch bowl. Dib threw punch in his face. Zim was about to say something, but the sight of the robo-dad distracted him. He was running repeatedly into the wall. Zim and Wiki ran over to stop the problem.  
"Is your dad feeling well," Mr. Elliot asked.  
"Yes, he's perfectly fine," Zim replied.  
Then, one of the robo-dad's arms shot off of his body and landed in front of Mr. Elliot. He shrieked at the sight of it all.  
"Calm down, sir," Wiki reassured the frightened man as she picked up the arm, "It's just a prosthetic. No need to worry."  
"He lost it in the war," Zim added.  
Wiki shot a look at him, "Yeah, those were very dark days indeed."  
"They took my squeezing arm," the robo-dad cried out in anguish, "They took my squeezing arm! WHY MY SQUEEZING ARM!?"  
The invaders stared at the robot blankly, dumbfounded by his performance. A woman's scream returned the invaders to robo-mom.  
"Quit poking my mom's head," Billy shouted at robo-mom.  
"I'll deal with robo-dad," Wiki said, "You handle robo-mom."  
"All right," Zim replied as he ran up to the robo-mom. Wiki was close behind with the robo-dad on her shoulders. Robo-mom had Billy's mom pinned against the wall while fiercely poking her head.  
"Look mom," Zim began, "We really have to go, please. Oh please!?"  
"Oh, honey you're upset," the robo-mom said as she ceased her poking and patted Zim on the shoulder.  
"Yes and I want to go home."  
"I know what will cheer you up," then out of nowhere, she and the robo-dad began clog dancing rather quickly.  
Meanwhile, Dib was calmly standing near the punch bowl, eating a doughnut. While watching the scene he shouted and pointed at the Irkens, "Look everybody! Look!"  
"Can't you people see that this woman has suffered from severe poking trauma," a woman in the crowd chastised.  
Dib returned to the dancing robo-parents, bummed that no one would bother to look for a split second.  
"What now," Wiki asked, "They don't seem to want to leave."  
An idea suddenly clicked in Zim's mind, "Unless," he began to spaz like a lunatic, "I think I've broken my spine! My spine! AH!"  
The robo-parents stopped dancing, "I think it's time we took you kids home," robo-mom said as she picked up Zim. Robo-dad followed what she did and picked up Wiki. The parents activated the jets in their legs and left parent/teacher night through the cafeteria window.  
Zim looked at Wiki, who was enjoying the night breeze, "{Why did someone like her decide to accompany me? It's not like she can't handle herself. She's totally capable of that. She must have some motive. I wonder what though.}"  
Back at parent/teacher night, Dib was fuming because no one bothered to notice the oddities the Irkens had just displayed, "Nobody saw that, right," everyone was still focused on Billy's mom. Dib threw his punch on the ground in anger.  
"Hey," someone from the crowd shouted, "That kid is throwing punch!"  
A shadow quickly emerged from crowd and appeared behind Dib. It transformed into an angry Mrs. Bitters, hissing at him. Dib was in more than a world of trouble.


	7. Chapter 7

Act 7:  
Science Project  
It has been a week since the incident with parent/teacher night. Dib was still fuming from the whole thing. He was staring at Zim and Wiki as they ignored another one of Mrs. Bitter's boring lectures.  
"... and your project is due after the break," she said, "Everyone choose a partner."  
A few seconds went by and there were only four people left: Zim, Wiki, Dib, and Gretchen. Everyone else was paired up and began talking to one another.  
"{If I act quickly, I can stop them from scheming and save the world while it's still safe.}," Dib thought to himself. He stood up and walked over to Wiki's desk. No way he was going to work with Zim. At least Wiki was reasonable and might be easy to work with.  
The Irken looked up from whatever she was doing, "{Huh?} Hello, Dib human."  
"Hey. I was wondering if you had chosen your partner yet."  
The whole room was still buzzing with many unnecessary conversations as partners moved close to one another to discuss terms. Wiki began to sweat because she figured what Dib was getting at. If she goes, Dib might try something funny; if she doesn't, she won't be able to stop his next plan. Getting away from Zim also sounded like a good thing, besides, the longer you stay by someone's side, the more you are to hate them later. At least that's what humans say about relationships.  
Wiki finally replied, "No, I haven't. How about you?"  
"Well, I was actually going to ask someone, but I'm not sure if they would say yes, seeming that we both hate each others' guts."  
"Ah, I guess that makes sense, but you never know. They just might say yes if you propose your request correctly."  
"Okay then, will you be my science partner?"  
Zim was eavesdropping on the conversation from his desk. He was outraged that the Dib-human would even think to ask an Irken to betray their mission. What was there to do, though? Zim knew better that Wiki would choose to avoid the human. He relaxed a little after being reassured by this. He still kept watching the two.  
"You are my sworn enemy," Wiki began, "It would be pretty stupid to tread upon your territory without me having knowledge of every detail, but maybe, just maybe, I might be your partner."  
"Really," Dib asked.  
"Yes. Someone has to keep your sanity in check, and the people you usually interact with don't seem to be helping you at all."  
Zim's face became dark with rage. How could he, the "most amazing invader of all time", miscalculate that? He was going to have a talk with his subordinate after class. At least she gave a completely insulting and cryptic reason to be his partner. That should make up for her stupid mistake.  
"There seems to be only two people left then," Mrs. Bitters announced, "Zim, Gretchen, you two are going to partner up for the project."  
Zim's face became even darker as Gretchen moved her seat next to Zim. She began to discuss her terms for working on the project. He was so annoyed with the situation, he almost agreed with himself to attack Gretchen. She was pretty annoying eventhough she meant well.  
After a few minutes went by, Mrs. Bitters pulled out a jar full of folded papers and set it on her desk, "Okay, class, one of you from each group shall come up and get a paper. AND NO TRADE-BACKS!"  
Half of the class lined up to choose a paper. Wiki decided to get one for her group, while Zim got up for his. As they stood in line, Zim began to whisper to her, "Why are you pairing yourself with that, pig-filthy, Dib-human?"  
"I don't know," Wiki replied in a quiet tone, "I contemplated my reply thoroughly. Are you not pleased with my choice?"  
"No."  
"Well... oh, think about it like this: we can fnally have a chance to use those cameras for recon," she whispered back.  
Dib began to regret asking Wiki to be his partner. Think of all the horrible plans those aliens could put into motion if Dib was to let her in. He calmed himself down and relaxed. No way a paranormal investigator could get overtaken by intergalactic scum. This was the most exciting thing that ever happened in his life!  
Zim was next in line to grab a paper. He reached into the bowl, unamused, and picked up a paper, "I hope it's nothing stupid," he opened it and sighed in relief. The paper read: 'The Nervous System'.  
Wiki was next, "Okay, let's get something decent," she nervously reached into the jar and pulled out a paper. She carefully unfolded it and was flabbergasted.  
Zim looked over her shoulder at the paper and began to cackle like an madman, "HO! HO! HO! NO WAY," he kept laughing until he was rolling on the ground and holding his stomach, "I-I-I... I DON'T EVEN," he began hyperventilating and almost passed out.  
Everyone piled around Wiki, who was still flabbergasted by the audacity of the subject she picked: 'The Reproduction System'. Everyone was silent for a few seconds, and then uproarous laughter filled the room. Wiki went to sit back down by her partner, still flabbergasted and holding the paper.  
"What was everyone laughing about," Dib asked as Wiki dropped the paper in front of him. He looked at the paper and read the contents. He began to blush slightly, "Well it could be worse."  
"Well," Wiki said with discomfort, "what's worse than learning about how to make more of us? It can't be that bad, right? It's not that bad!"  
"Did your parents give you the talk as a kid, or what?"  
"Talk? What talk?"  
Dib just stared at her, "{Her parents never gave her The Talk? I guess this is going to be practice for when I have kids... Do aliens even have parents... or The Talk?}"  
"Can we do the project at your house?"  
"Huh? Why my house?"  
"Because Zim has his skin condition and needs to be in a certain environment, and bringing you over will make tensions rise, and that's bad for him. Can we please do the project at your house?"  
Dib thought this over for a while, "{If I allow her into my house, she and Zim could put a plan into motion, but then again, I could try to experiment on her in her sleep. With her out of the way, Zim will be more helpless. All right...} Sure, why not?"  
"Great. See ya tonight?"  
"That's okay for me."  
The bell eventually rang, ending the school day. Children flooded out of the doors and windows. The children who took Mrs. Bitters science class walked home with their partners. Zim and Wiki, on the other hand, still walked home together as ususal.  
Gretchen then came out a nowhere and striked up a conversation with Zim, "So, Zim, are you cool with my terms on our project?"  
Zim sighed in annoyance and simply replied, "Yes, as long as you don't get in my way, we'll be fine together."  
"Great! Since the project is due in a few weeks, you wanna come to my house to work on the poster and-"  
"I'm not sure," Zim began in a sarcastic tone, "I mean since I have this abnormal skin condition, I don't want to bother your family with my special needs."  
"We'll do the project at your house then, if it makes you more comfortable."  
"All right then, that's perfect. Come around five maybe?"  
"OK," Gretchen then cheerfully walked onto her bus.  
"Why are you all right with letting "the enemy" into out base," Wiki asked as the two began walking home, "Are you finally coming out of your social shell?"  
"Oh shut up," Zim replied, annoyed with everything as usual, "If anything good comes of this, she makes the perfect dissection subject."  
"No, Zim, you wouldn't. We made a promise not to try dissection again. Last time the subject woke up and we ran out of anesthesia. And the time before that, I'm pretty sure that chicken was either traumatized or dead, I couldn't tell. I'm still scared of what will happen to that monster."  
"I won't cut her open this time, I'll just send a tiny robot into her brain and start randomly poking things. I'll then map out her brain and use it against Dib somehow. She won't be harmed or killed in any way."  
"Yeah, but if you "accidentally" do, don't leave the corpse lying around somewhere to rot. It leaves a horrible smell, and after I find it a few weeks later, it scares the height out of me."  
"Anyway, since you're going to the enemy's headquarters for recon, I need you to set up the cameras in all of the rooms in their base. That's not too hard for you, right?"  
"Of course not, you idiot. Who do you think I am?"  
"Fine, just go to Dib's house later and install them as soon as you are able to do so."  
"All right, commander."  
The two invaders spent the rest of the walk home in blissful silence. They seemed to be getting along a bit better, but they still had a long road ahead of them. One road was just a sligthly farther distance than the other.  
At the base, Zim and Wiki were getting ready for their missions. Zim was downstairs preparing for Gretchen's surgery. He set aside a surgery table and industrial tools for the occasion. Meanwhile, Wiki was upstairs with Mo, packing for her recon mission. She packed the cameras into Mo's cerebral compartment. She packed everything needed for overnight stays into a black duffle bag.  
Zim, Wiki, and Mo met with each other on the main of floor of the base. They nodded at each other as a wish for good luck. Wiki and Mo put on their disguises and made their way to Dib's house. Zim set up a trap in the living room for Gretchen.  
The trap was entirely intricate. It was spring loaded, weight balanced, and movement activated; almost like a human-sized mouse trap without the hazard of getting killed. He made sure Wiki did not get a glimpse of this for fear she will blow a fuse. Zim carefully put the trap into place and waited for the human to enter the base. He sat on the couch with GIR and waited like a predator waits for a chance to kill its prey.  
It was almost 5:00 p.m. Zim and GIR were asleep on the couch, still waiting for Gretchen to show up. Zim jolted a little to make sure he was not falling asleep. Still, with no sign of the girl, he went upstairs to catch some Z's. Just as he was about to go upstairs, there was a knock at the door. He turned back and headed for the door, careful not to set the trap he put up. He opened the door and there she was, the subject... ehrm... Gretchen.  
Zim was the first to speak, "Hello Gretchen."  
"Hi Zim," Gretchen greeted her partner, "I'm here. 5:00 like I promised."  
"Yes, yes, come right in. Make yourself at home," he said with a toothy grin. He motioned her into the house. Just as Gretchen entered the house, Zim's trap snapped shut on her and knocked her out, "Ingenious," Zim screeched, "Now I can put you up to my extreme experiments," he grabbed Gretchen's legs and dragged her down to the science lab. He strapped her down to the operating table and popped on a surgeon's mask, "Hm... I can't have a life-threatening surgery without an assistant. GIR!," Zim called for his android servant.  
The little robot came crashing through the lab ceiling and saluted his master with burning, red eyes.  
"Good, I need you to assist me in operating on the human female. Now, BRING OUT THE DISEASED SNAILS!"  
"Yes master," GIR's eyes changed back to their playful, blue color. He went over to a cage and pulled out two crazed snails. He brought them over to the operating table and held them as they thrashed around.  
"Now, GIR, I want you to keep a careful eye on these two and hand me the snails when I tell you to."  
"Okay," GIR eventually got bored and put the snails down. He grabbed his toy pig he keeps in his head and played with it. He giggled each time the thing squeaked.  
Meanwhile, the snails GIR put down went up Zim's pants. Just as Zim was about to make the first incision, he felt something ticklish on his legs. His legs began to have spasms as the snails made their way through his pants. He began giggling and began to panic; what was this sudden, weird sensation he was getting to cause him to cackle? He looked over to GIR, who was still playing with his toy pig. Where were the snails? He asked the android as he stuttered with painful laughter, "GIR, what d-di-did-did you do with th-th-th-the-the-the snails?"  
"Huh," GIR said as he looked towards his master. He looked around and back to his master and shrugged, "I dunno."  
"I'll BE back in a f-f-few minutes. D-DON'T do anyth-th-th-thing reckless," he walked awkwardly to another room in the basement.  
"What is this uncomfortable feeling going on in my invader pants," Zim screeched as he pulled off his pants. He shook them around until the two, rabid snails tumbled out. They looked at him menacingly and jumped onto the poor Irken without warning.  
GIR was still in the other room, minding his own business. He heard a loud scream coming from the other room where his master went off to. He just ignored it and explored the operation room. He went up to a control panel. It had many buttons that lit up in a certain pattern. GIR, being mesmerized by the colorful lights, pushed the buttons in the correct corresponding pattern. Each time he got the pattern right, it would add on another button, almost like a memory game.  
When the 'game' finished and no more buttons lit up, GIR was a bit disappointed that nothing amazing happened. Oh, but how wrong he was. Those patterned buttons executed many machines to start operating on poor Gretchen. She was stretched, pulled, squished, smashed, and all other kinds of things. She was even turned into a puddle of mush and reassembled again!  
This went on for another few more minutes. Zim finally escaped the bathroom with his pants in tact. He stood against the door, hoping those monsters will not have a chance to get out.  
He sighed heavily and said to himself, "Note to self, never use rabid animals again. AT ALL," he noticed what was going on with the operating table. He did not know what to make of it, but he knew who was resonsible, "GIR!"  
As if answering his master, GIR fell off of the ceiling and landed on his head with a loud crash and replied, "Yesh?"  
"Explain to me what is going on with the operating table, GIR," Zim pointed to the operating table to point out the problem.  
"I dunno. I was busy playing the flashy-button game."  
"Flashy-button game," it took Zim a while to understand what GIR was talking about. When he figured, he blew a short fuse, "GIR, I told you not to do anything reckless!"  
"I didn't know I was doing anything wrong."  
Zim sighed and rubbed his temples. The only thing to do now is wait for the machines to be finished with whatever they were doing to poor Gretchen. When they were done, she was nothing but a pile of genetic goop.  
Zim walked over to the operating table and raised an eyebrow, "How am I supposed to work with this," he poked the pool a few times and it began to move. He jumped back and fell on the floor. He got up and looked at the goop, careful not to make his presence known.  
The goop seemed to have a face. It begins to speak in a murky tone, "Zim, is that you?"  
Zim stood over the operating table and replied, "Yeah?"  
"Where are we?"  
"Uh..."  
"And why are you so tall and weird-looking?"  
"Well..."  
"And why is everything so blue?"  
Zim walked away from the table and came back with a giant, clear jar. He opened it and scooped Gretchen right into it. He closed the jar and put it into a vacuumless tube where it floated around. Zim sighed and said to GIR, "What am I going to do with you?"  
Meanwhile, Wiki and Mo were at Dib's house. They rang the doorbell a few times before Gaz answered. She was playing her game as usual. She paused it and looked at Wiki. She asked, "Are you Dib's nerd friend?"  
"Science partner," Wiki clarified, "and no, we're not friends."  
"Yeah, come right in," Gaz led Wiki into the house and sat her down on the couch, "Dib should be down in a few minutes," Gaz went into the kitchen and then went upstairs.  
Wiki got up and decided to look around. She walked up to the fireplace and looked at the family photos. The family was wearing ridiculous, over-sized fleece-shirts with pointy trees and deer with red noses. Written at the bottom of the picture was "Merry X-Mas 2004." What is X-Mas?  
Wiki kept looking at the pictures. Some of them were of Dib and Gaz... or at least tiny, infant clones of them? They actually looked extremely squishy and pink. Humans were obviously not made for years of milital training. They probably can't live pass 120 years.  
Wiki suddenly heard Gaz and Dib having a small scuffle upstairs. She then heard someone coming downstairs. She quickly sat back on the couch as if she did no snooping at all. Dib came downstairs and sighed, "So do you have any ideas you want to contribute to the project?"  
"Not that I can think of at the moment," Wiki replied.  
"Good because I already have it all planned out," he threw a large stack of paper on the coffee and it let out a loud thud, "Those are my preferences and ideas for this project. If you even try to break any of these or try to disregard them, I will break you."  
"Good luck with that. I'm just here to do a project about something I don't exactly know much about. Now, either of us can start telling each other what we know about reproduction or I'm going home and calling this a complete waste of time."  
"This may be a little personal, but..."  
"But?"  
"Have your parents given you The Talk?"  
"The Talk? What is this Talk you keep speaking of?"  
"{Oh my God, her parents must be like Puritan or something... No wait, she's an alien, remember. There's no way aliens have The Talk. But that means she doesn't know and I'm going to have to...} Well, The Talk is... Wait, if I explain this to you, you're going to have to clarify your species to me."  
"Oh Tallest, not this again. I'm human. No question about it."  
"Then how do you not know about The Talk? Every kid who hasn't had it at least heard of it or had it mentioned to them somehow."  
"Not me or Zim."  
"You're not human. Say it and I will explain The Talk to you."  
Wiki sighed, "If it shuts you up... I'm NOT human."  
"Don't lie to me you piece of - You... What?"  
"You clearly saw us that night without our disguises since the nano-sub incident. You can easily justify what you saw, but you still have no proof. It got destroyed and forgotten, and there is nothing you can do about it. So, about that Talk?"  
"Yeah. Uh... well. You see, when a male and female like each other a lot, they decide to... get together and... plan festivities."  
"What kind of festivities?"  
"A.. dance party and a... swimming race."  
"Really?"  
"Sort of, in its own way. The winner of the race turns an egg in the woman into a tiny human over the course of nine months. After the nine months, the tiny human comes out of the woman and starts its new life."  
"What happens to the losers?"  
"They die."  
"Wow, you humans are more brutal than I thought. Even so, your methods are odd creatures."  
"Well how does your race do reproduction?"  
"We don't. We clone with the best DNA of our best invaders to make better invaders."  
"Weird."  
"To you, but at least our method makes thousands of us, and evolution is only a few years away all the time. You humans can only make one or two at a time. And it takes two of you to make another while it takes one massive machine to make an enitre army. You're no match so give up."  
"You don't know what I'm up to."  
"And I don't feel like finding out. I just want to get this project over with."  
So, over the course of the break, Zim, Dib, Wiki, and Gretchen got their projects finished. Some finished sooner than others. Zim sort of brought Gretchen back to her normal self with the only exception of having extremely flexible joints. Wiki had sucessfully dispatched Mo to install the nano-cameras in all of the rooms in Dib's house. Now was the wait.  
Zim and Wiki set up the connection to their computers and waited for the cameras to boot up. Once they finally did, an error message appeared on the screen. Apparently, someone put in a password before the cameras were finished.  
"I never remembered putting a password on the cameras," Zim said, raising an eyebrow at the error message, "Did you put one?"  
"I haven't touched those things since I packed them in my bag," Wiki replied, "Mo?"  
"I only set them up in the places you asked me to, Madame," Mo replied, "A passcode has not bothered me on my mission."  
There was only one other person who had access to cameras before going to Dib's house. Everyone stared at the culprit with unamused expressions. He was just sitting there, playing with his squeaky, moose toy, unaware of the problem at hand that most likely stemmed from his recklessness.  
"GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR," Zim screeched to the heavens, possibly causing a minor scale earthquake in the process.


End file.
